Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Shark Boy

Wyatt’s visit to the orthodontist was uneventful. The doc decided to give him another six months of growth before making any decisions. Wyatt knows that he is destined for braces, (his teeth are in rows, for heaven's sake!) and commented to the doc that the good thing about braces is that he is home-schooled and so he won’t have to deal with other kids teasing him. (I did NOT prompt that – he came up with that one on his own!)

After that, Wyatt apparently was more interested in the squirrel outside the window than listening to the other possibilities the orthodontist was outlining. When I gave Kerry a reprise later, and Wyatt heard me mention pulling teeth, his defenses kicked into high gear…

What?! I might have to get teeth pulled?! Will it hurt?

Hmmm, moral dilemma. Honesty is always the best policy, but remember that this child is a fretter, AND that “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” are three separate categories. I’ll choose “the truth”.

“Well, honey, they make you numb.”

“With a SHOT?!?”

“Mmmm, yeah, but they numb it before the shot, so if you close your eyes you don’t really feel it.” Sort of. Maybe we can find a dentist with anesthesia.

Wyatt gave me a very suspicious look. Tate and Gunnar were eagerly waiting to see how this little drama would unfold.

Then, I had a bright idea!

“You know, the Tooth Fairy brings MONEY for teeth that were pulled!” (Previously, she has only left toys or trinkets – and pixie dust - for teeth that fall out the ordinary way.)


“Oh yeah.”

Tate, narrowing his eyes and calculating, said hopefully, “When will I get teeth pulled?”

“Hopefully never.”

Wyatt, alarmed that Tate might find a way to horn in on the only bright spot he can see in a bad situation, decided it was time to get tough:

“You won’t get any teeth pulled, because your teeth are all prim and proper like a prissy person. MY teeth are rough and rugged, like a MANLY MAN!”

So there.

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